March 8

 

It doesn't necessarily

have to be a woman

but it definitely

has to be the feminine qualities

In every woman

in every man

you'll find them hidden or fully evolved;

the sensibility

the empathy

the caring

the all embracing

the understanding

and the knowing

of the interconnectedness of everything

You will also find a fierce voice saying

STOP!

No more killing

no more violence

no more rape and exploitation

No more separation

no more us and them

no more man versus nature

ALL the children must be taken care of

The feminine qualities

of sharing and collaboration

of circular communication

and grass root organisation

is the antidote to the stressful,

harmful and unhealthy narrative

of a never-ending-run-towards-a-distant-goal-of.......

what?

A few thrive on this narrative

some live by it

but many, many more suffer from it

So welcome her

let her take her seat

recieve her nectar of deep compassion that embraces

the whole of humanity.

Welcome the sanity,

the harmony, the peace and the reverence

welcome the emotional, the sensual, the ritual

and slow down

take a break

rest in the arms of a world that cares for you

 

Self care and Sacred activism

 The huge, fast speeding snowball of consumerism

that nobody dares to stop

even for a moment

to reflect,

to check the situation and say -Hey,

I think we got a problem here!

We don't need to go on like this

we know better

we are vibrational, multidimensional beings with capabilities beyond our imagination.

We can create a better world

We can create an amazing world!

And now is a good time to do that.

Wherever there is a problem, there is also a solution

In every moment we make a choice to be part of either the problem or the solution.

With our actions, interactions, transactions

But also with our vibes, our energi, our emotions are we contributing to the world around us.

We have a greater impact on our surroundings than we often think. And that gives us a responsibility to be aware and take care of our state of being.

I don't mean that we have to control all the thoughts, feelings and stuff that goes on within us, but I mean we can be aware of them.

To know ourselves.

When we are aware of our innermost longings and our true values, when we have looked through belief systems and borrowed world views and come to know our own truth, then we can make better decisions.

Better for ourselves and for the world.

 

Becoming more aware of my true self, more mindful and more soulful, gives me the feeling of interconnectedness and interbeing. That everything is connected.

In a huge, invisible eco system

Self care then becomes really important. That each of us take care of our little part in the worldwide web of life.

Self care becomes sacred activism.

Corona time is time for Reflection

Time for reflection

If we can't go out, we go inside

But inside - that is within ourselves – it might not be that comfortable,

easier to spend time with the phone or tv.

But no, let's take this opportunity

to connect on a deeper level with ourselves

with our soul, with our body, to get to know our mind and learn how to become more rooted in our self and more present in the moment.

Let's move into the realm of the unknown.

To not know

where all this is going to lead,

how long this is going to take

and how the world is going to be when the pandemic is over

can be quite scary.

We can't control the situation.

But, as a matter of fact, we are never in control! 

Life is unpredictable. Always. Everything is changing and nothing is permanent.

So let's take this opportunity to befriend our fear, to relax in the unknown and learn about trust.

It is in the unknown transformation happens

It's there where we are forced to try new things, new ideas, new behaviour, new thoughts. To come up with new solutions and be creative and inventive.

When everything is predictable and familiar we follow the same thought-and behaviour patterns and so we have the same results as we've always had.

Now the whole world is thrown into a big unknown.

And there lies big potential to create something new.

Because, honestly, is the world as we know it really what we want to return to?

Do we want to go back to that consumerism-is-all-that-counts-kind of economy?

The world was already in big crises before this virus came along; an environmental crises where we are about to face the sixth mass extinction.

Plastic islands in the oceans, poisoned rivers, rainforests – the lungs of the earth – being cut down. Just like that, totally normal and legal.

There were, and still are of course, huge crises caused by wars. Masses of homeless people are victims of war caused by men in power, it is a shame in our time, don't you think? These wars are created within a mindset that says that it is normal.

The world as we know it was also dealing with a health crises, even before and much more spread, than the corona virus: That's all the millions of people suffering from all kinds of stress related sicknesses and mental issues. There's also a depression pandemic!

And there are democracy crises, justice crises, social crises, human rights crises...

And so much more that you already know, I don't have to mention it all.

So, to make it short; why go back to a system that destroys the planet we are living on, harms so many fellow humans and sentient beings and makes us feeling depressed, sick or stressed out? Why go back to normal?

You say, but are there any alternatives? What about the economy? People must have jobs so they can pay the bills.

Of course there are alternatives! Of course there are solutions. There are many many people out there coming up with new technologies, new inventions and new possibilities for a better world. There are people who have great ideas and visions for a world beyond the unsustainable and damaging system that we know.

You can be one of them.

Yes, by looking inside yourself, at the bottom of your heart and finding your deepest desires, your true values and what is really important to you.

Instead of fearing the crises we can look at it as opportunity.

An opportunity to create something new, to evolve, to move to another level, to another paradigm.

The thing is that in that critical phase of crises, of the unknown, so many people give in to fear and even panic and that creates a wish to go back to normal. It might not be the best but it is safe, it is familiar and anything is better than this scary unknown territory and state of emergency.

So, we must first become friends with the unknown within ourselves and face our fear and learn to relax into it. Not denying it or pushing it away but be with it.

Take a deep breath and feel it, be with it, acknowledge it and accept it. Embrace your fear.

The best way I know to do that is in meditation. I attach a file at the end of this post with a short meditation you can listen to if you need a little guidance.

Then, the next step is to look at our values, what is really important to us.

Let's look at our desires and deepest longings, and ask ourselves; what kind of life would I really like to live?

How would I like the world to look like?

What is my greatest vision of my own dreamlife and of the whole world?

Allow yourself to daydream! Really get into it and feel it and look at all different kinds of areas in your life and at the world at large. Be playful and create in your mind a vision that feeeeeels goooood!

Then hold that vision.

If you want, write it or paint it.

But keep going there; think about it often, talk about it, share it, post it.

Ask others what their vision of a better world is.

Engage in or start conversations that support ideas of a more sustainable world and a better future for all.

The point here is a shift of focus: Get informed, yes, do what needs to be done, yes, but then, come back to the real work; take care of yourself on a deeper level, mind your vibrations and what you contribute to your environment.

Know that you are important, you have an impact, we are all connected.

Keep social distance but not social isolation!

You find the 8 minute short meditation here

In memorial

One year ago 

my beloved Vangelis 

passed away 

crossed over 

left his body 

died

I wrote some stuff after that

a way to process

the shock and the grief

Here 

is 

some 

of 

it

That morning

The message was crystal clear

just like the morning

on its way through the dawn

The sun slowly making it above the horizon

shining on frosty branches

Like you, rising above the pain

shining in awe and amazement

I could feel you

reaching me that early morning

even though the message clearly said

you're not here anymore

I will never forget that morning. The phone call at 5.30, winter, still dark, a cottage in the countryside in Sweden.

Crying and in shock I climb down the stairs from the loft where I sleep. I light a candle and sit down on the couch and just sit there for a couple of hours. Trying to grasp the ungraspable and let the fathomless sink in to my system.

The day dawns slowly. It is an extraordinary beautiful morning, it will be a sunny day.

In my shocking state, grieving and crying over the loss of my beloved, I was amazed by the beauty around me. And it was like I could feel him, like he was there with me, and I could somehow feel his amazement over what was happening to him.

Du finns

Du finns i snön som faller

mjukt på mina kinder

i en smekning

som smälter samman med mina tårar

Like he is somehow present, everywhere, and his presence is touching love without touching.

It could have been Better

I hope I gave you everything

I know I didn't

I know I could have done better

It could have been different

We could have left our shortcomings behind

and made everything better

Just open hearts with love streaming

through everything we did

It seems too late but it's not

now is always the time

now I can feel you and that pure love

streaming through me and everything I do

I learned and still learn that grief has many faces. To miss him so much it hurts my body, to be reminded of him by smallest little things, the merciless realization that I will never see him again. And there are also feelings of regret, guilt and anger as well as worries, despair and meaninglessness.

But there is also something I've come to call Pure Grief.

This is something that hits me unpredictably anytime and is not connected to thoughts.

It just takes my body and my whole being, cracks me open in raw, pure feeling and directly connects me to life, the human experience and the beauty of all that

Sometimes

Sometimes when I think of you

and try to connect with you

I can feel something in my heart

like a knocking

like you are trying to get in there

and teach me what love is

what it really is

real

unconditional

love

You can lose the one you love

but you don't lose the love

You'll get over it

You'll get over it

they say

time heals all wounds

But I say

I don't want to get over it

sadness is part of being human and I 'm not afraid of it

I see it doesn't break me or drive me crazy

it rather makes me more sane, more human, more humble and more loving

The sadness of having lost a loved one

brings me closer to the one I lost

Big little boys

Big little boys

playing big with big weapons

weapons too big for their little understanding

of what is worth fighting for

Blood on their dirty, greedy hands

grabbing for more

more land, more oil, more money

to put in their already full pockets

Innocent land conquered with lies

fooling the masses

that these killings, these murders of innocent millions

are somehow

justified

But we're waking up now

We stand up, lift our head, open our eyes

We turn off the television,

we walk away from meaningless jobs

that only put more money

in the pockets of the few

We're done with obeying fools

we don't need their toys, their drugs, their plastic crap anymore

we've had enough

We want the truth

we want transparency, true democracy and equality

We want love to rule the world

We're not here to live in the shadows of insanity

We were born to live in the light of the human potential

and we know what that means

we know what we can create

we know how to love one and other

we know how to care, how to share

We can build what is sustainable

and break down the destructive

Back to the Roots - Reflektioner från tre vintermånader i ursprungslandet

Förlåta.

Integrera det förflutna och sluta cirklar. Förlåta mig själv för misstag, för att jag inte värdesatte mig själv och levde närvarande i alla situationer. För att jag flydde, gömde mig, skämdes och inte deltog fullt ut i Livet. För att jag inte visste att Livet också var för mig...

Iakttagelser.

Jag iakttar vad som väcker längtan och inspiration och vad som väcker stress.

Längtan att skapa.

Stress av alla måsten.

Jag iakttar små utbrott av ångest som flammar upp men sen avtar bara av att jag finns där.

Jag ser den gamla välbekanta känslan av utanförskap. Den får också finnas.

För jag flyr inte längre. Det är därför jag är här, tillbaka till den plats jag en gång flydde från. Jag vet ju att det egentligen inte handlar om någon plats. Det handlar om obehagliga och mörka skrymslen och vrår i mig själv.

Som min rotlöshet, rastlöshet, oro

en tyngd, ett mörker, en sorg

Inte fått höra till

inte fått känna kraften av ett väl utvecklat rotsystem

i mustig mylla

och näringsrik jord

Samhörighet.

Det är underbart att känna samhörighet med världen omkring en. Vandra på gator och torg och känna ett VI. Jag i förhållande till andra människor, naturligt, enkelt, vänligt, kärleksfullt. Det har inte alltid varit så och speciellt inte då, på den tiden, i den här staden, så det värmer extra mycket när jag upptäcker skillnaden. Och t.o.m mitt förhållande till myndigheter och inte minst till min mor har genomgått en närmast mirakulös transformation vilket gör mig både häpen och tacksam.

Det är klart, det har ju gått några år. Ett inre arbete har pågått som skapat den där samhörighetskänslan inombords. Det är där det börjar förstås; i mitt inre och mitt förhållande till mig själv som sen speglas i världen omkring.

Känner samhörighet utan att behöva kliva in i boxen.

På stadsbussen.

Kära tonårstjejer, gå inte på den stora Myten! Tro inte att ni kan köpa tillhörighet och samhörighet i form av smink och kläder. Det finns hos alla ett grundläggande behov, en överlevnadsinstinkt faktiskt, att höra till. Men det sitter inte i det yttre; sminkad på samma sätt som de andra tjejerna gör inte gemenskapen starkare, bara ytligare. Istället missar vi det som verkligen håller oss samman: Vårt inre, vår äkthet, vår sårbarhet, vår öppna, gemensamma, unika mänsklighet

Naturen.

Har alltid funnits där. Som en kär vän, en hjärte- och sinne-öppnare, en tröstare, en själavårdare med en skönhet som ofta får mig att bara stå där, stilla, hänförd, tacksam.

Borde-demoner.

Ibland blir de så tydliga; borde-tankarna. Borde vara mer effektiv, borde producera mera, borde vara mer kreativ, borde göra det och det och borde, borde, borde. Vilken enorm stress de tankarna framkallar! Helt i onödan dessutom för inte blir det mer gjort för att jag lägger ner en massa energi på att kritisera och slå ner på mig själv. När jag inser det träder hon fram som en gudinna och lägger en mjuk, sval hand på min panna och får borde-tankarna att framstå som fåniga demoner. De drar sig fegt undan, de klarar inte strålglansen från mitt klokare jag.

Välfärdsrädsla.

Tänk vad rädda vi är om vår välfärd! Och tänk vad rädda vi är för förändring och oj vad läskigt att inse att världen bortom det västerländska välståndet kryper allt närmare inpå. Människor i ofattbar nöd som vi förut bara sett på nyheterna står helt plötsligt här i vårt land, i vår stad. Och många, många fler är på väg. Men ju större kris, ju fler bomber och ju fler människor på flykt desto mer drar Europa för sina gardiner, låser sina dörrar och stänger och bommar igen. Och fortsätter sälja bomber för att hålla välfärdskarusellen snurrande.

International Time of the Feminine

For many, probably most, women it doesn't come easy and naturally to get really connected with true femininity. First of all because there is no teaching around this in our society but also because to get in touch with the Woman inside means to get in touch with pain. Our own personal pain of having said yes when we meant no, and saying no when we wanted to say yes. The pain we feel from all the things we have done and not done in order to not be disturbing or embarrasing, to please, to not be ridicolous or stick out. The feminine inside also makes us get in touch with the pain of ALL the women in the entire world through all the times. All the suppression, the rapes, the burning, the stoning, the exploitation, the buying, the selling, the abusing, the silencing, the cutting, the neglecting, the hiding, the denyal, the.... ALL of it. Is in each and every woman. In our blood, in our DNA.
In us, in our purest essence as women, are also the so called female qualities; the receptivity, the nurturing, the dancing energies, the embracing, the creative chaotic flow, the life cycles, the softness, the emotions, the surrender, the devotion, the connecting, the intuition, the life bringer, the nature and Mother Earth. Which are also in men, of course, but nevertheless surpressed since some thousands of years. Not so valid, not so important (I made a mistake in my typing and wrote impotent..) and put aside for the more masculine qualities to come forth: Logic, action, goal orientation, hunting, calculating, competing (which are not bad in themselves but they are totally out of balance, and that's the bad thing). Most women believe they have to develope these masculine qualities, even if it doesn't align with their desire and instinct, to to be able to cope in this world. But it doesn't have to be like that. Actually the world is screaming for the feminine to rise.

To not only cope but to live a life in dignity and grace I have to be me, and I have to never stop exploring what that means. I have to stand well rooted in my womanhood to resist the winds of masculinity that constantly sweeps over our society in all kinds of open or hidden forms. Strong in my vulnerability, steady in my softness, radical in my honesty.
But then comes the big question: How to do that? And what IS the womanhood in me REALLY? Nobody told me that! To become more feminine was the same as putting a tight dress and some make up on. The purpose was to be sexy and attractive to men. The role models, the rules and the models are all created by men and financial interest. These two are very intertwined by the way, because only masculine qualities, at their extreme, can choose financial profit before the good of all. How a woman's body should look like, how women's sexuality should look like and how female behaviour should be were all set up since thousands of years by society (ruled by men), religion (ruled by men) and the market (ruled by men).
So I started to explore. By myself, with my -oh so patient!- beloved and with other women. What were my conditionings, my hang-ups, fears, beliefs and wounds around being a woman? I read, I wrote, I cried, I discussed, I listened more carefully to my body, I started to say yes and no in alignment with my needs, I connected with sisters for deeper practice and support.
To stand strong in our womanhood does not mean starting a war against men, it simply means diving deep inside and explore, strengthen and celebrate the feminine. To give her a voice, to give her space, time, nourishment, love and healing in whatever form we can imagine. It means to give the female qualities equal rights and value in our world and we do that by honoring them in ourselves. The masculine has ruled long enough and we can all see the results of that: War, violence, poverty, injustice, ecosystems out of balance. It is time for the feminine to rise.